*sigh*

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with finances. What else is new right? Story of our lives. We have been struggling financially for a while now, and after going over our bills tonight that need to be paid tomorrow with Will's paycheck, the light at the end of the tunnel doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight...still! I KNOW Will works hard to make ends meet and works hard at school, and our whole being piss-poor is temporary, but dang it I'm sooooooo sick of being broke!!! It's really getting to me. It's very depressing. It's stressful. I'm at a loss as to what to do anymore. I know Will pretty much feels the same way. I've recently had to take myself off of my "happy" meds which isn't helping me in this situation at all but I'm trying really hard to stay "happy" without the help of medication.

It's hard enough to worry about money, but when you have to tell your kids 'no' again and again, over the simplest things it's pretty heartwrenching. Honestly, I've gotten accustomed to going "without" now. I just long for the day where I can go to Target and drop some "fun" money on me, the kids and Will. Something so simple. And when I think about people like Mariah's dad who makes her feel bad for wearing "scroungy" clothes and has no clue what it's like to struggle financially...it really gets me down. I know that when Will is done with school and gets set with a nice job I will look back at this time in my life and probably be thankful. Right now it's just so hard to see it that way. I don't want a lot, I just want enough. Does that make sense? Ok, enough of the pity party for myself. I just needed to get it out I guess. I know the Lord has blessed me and my family in many other ways that I need to probably be more thankful for. It's just hard when stress causes so much tension in a relationship and in the home. If you wouldn't mind, please say a little prayer for my family....it would be greatly appreciated!!! I know I have been blessed with wonderful friends and family!